The Nature of Channeling

It’s so funny how I have this experience of my own gift where I feel very intimidated by it and scared and I don’t want anyone to know about it and I feel like I have to keep it a secret. Yet anytime anyone is open about or sharing their gift, I feel somehow insulted, like I’m not special or something because I do imagine myself as being this very important Being. That’s a shift that needs to happen because it’s a closed-system thought process, that there isn’t enough to go around. That this isn’t something that everyone is capable of and at the same time that it’s my burden, my chore (I might say in weaker moments) to help people realize this gift in a different way.

My experience has been acute and very rapid also, and so I have this way of being able to articulate the enlightenment process on multiple levels—the way it feels and the way that it works in your brain and I have this ability to hold all of that at the same time in different ways because I am so expansive. Because my soul is so old and I’ve already had so many experiences and expanded so far that I can only snap back a certain ways through the rebirth process. So I have this innate ability to connect experiences past with present. And past like lifetimes past, not just in this go round, as it were. So the more acutely aware I become, the better I am able to reach into past lifetimes to expand outside the third dimension. Because it’s not just linear time at that point—an acceptance of an afterlife is dependent upon there being other dimensions, otherwise, where the fuck would you go. It’s expansion—recognizing expansion beyond the third dimension of where we are now and how we’re meant to experience life on earth. 

It’s so weird because what happens to me, I can’t understand it. It’s like a third eye thing. This information comes to me in pictures that I can’t even see. It’s my imagination. If I open myself up to whatever, I ask the question and I sort of rest and listen. But it’s like listening on a different level, like sensational listening, energetic listening—not with your ears, with your receptors, with your pores, with your whole self. I don’t hear words when I get on a streak, that’s not exactly true, sometimes I will hear words, but it’s like a sentence starting and if I don’t write it down then it repeats until I either record it or I start writing and then the information flows.

Often times when I am slipping into something, that is how it’s triggered, with a repeating thought I can’t get out of my head. Then, when I accept its significance and open myself to the message it fucking comes pouring out of me. Like I said, I don’t totally understand it. At some point in that process, when I am in the flow of it, pictures are easier because if someone was talking—if it was coming to me as a voice—then it would get too distracting, me talking over another voice. That’s why then my receptor flips to my imagination and the way that I receive information is through pictures. I will get on a streak and start going and then when I get lost. When I lose the thread, I just relax and sit back and remember that it’s not me. I’m just receiving. I’m just a vessel so I can’t try too hard to edit or impose on the message in any way. So if I’m losing the thread, and I can feel it, then I relax back and open up again and just wait. Then, usually it will catch back on where it ended or I will come back and repeat one word. It’s like pausing a movie, you have to remember where you were at and then press play and it will just start up again. And that’s how it works. And then if I am saying it out loud or recording it in some way, it’s really cathartic and often times it is important information about stuff I’ve been working on or helpful insight.

The hard part is that because I’m this channel, this open vessel, I don’t remember the things that come through me, so I have to go back and listen or reread what I wrote. Sometimes it’s astounding to me that that even came out of my body because often it’s really profound shit, very cool profound things that I often wonder about because I don’t have the fucking answer and then suddenly, I get this tap on the shoulder (proverbially) and then I have the answer—it’s handed to me. It’s not fucking simple and I had to work really hard to get here, I feel. Other people have to work a lot harder in this lived experience. It’s not fair for me to say I had to work hard. I’m talking about lifetimes when I say that, not about in this lifetime. In this lifetime, it’s been pretty fucking easy because of all the other lifetimes of work I’ve done to get here.

I sound insane, I totally understand that, but it’s real. It’s as real as anything. It’s weird but it’s true. Thinking about things this way and experiencing it this way, it’s hard for me to compress myself into a third dimensional situation, which means a capitalistic world view and an economy that’s crumbling and the social unrest and everything that’s going on. It’s hard to participate and I have to keep reminding myself that’s why we’re here. That’s why I’m here. I have to get involved and have the human experience. But I guess that’s what this is. The channeling is forcing me to get involved—I feel compelled to do something about it. And being surrounded by people who are encouraging me. I just don’t know how much longer I can do this part of it. The part where I get smashed like a bug. I get so owned by the third dimensional experience. It gets so uncomfortable. I hate the compression of it and I haven’t quite worked out how to be expanded and do what I do. I’m not sure.

The Nature of Energy

We become energized when people give us their time and attention because they are lending us their energy, their focus, their attention and those are the moments when I feel most energized, as opposed to spending a lot of time thinking about a problem or spending time thinking of something outside of myself or someone outside of myself. Then I’m sending my energy away and if I’m thinking negatively about myself, then I’m actively depleting my own energy, so like judging and shaming zaps you of your energy. If we were all at a place of presence and sending out soft, loving energy, then we would all feel energized, seemingly effortlessly. Loving self and loving others both, thorough positive attention, then we wouldn’t experience any sensations of scarcity.

The Nature of Connection

I was imagining karma, the process of karma being something like coming to this plane to learn a set of lessons that you have not yet learned—things that you don’t know, experiences you’ve never had. And that you unburden yourself the more you learn and stretch and overcome issues in your life. But there’s another aspect of it that is teaching others what you learn or have learned, which is exponentially more powerful than learning your own lessons, but particularly when you combine them, when at a given moment you are simultaneously working on your own issues and teaching others what you’ve learned, and trying to learn from others because they’ve had a different set of experiences and different challenges and different knowledge they can enrich your life with. It’s the most powerful energy exchange that there can be between two humans.

It’s not just intellectual teaching, it’s emotional teaching, it’s spiritual teaching. When you are speaking from the heart and laying bare your experience for others to witness, it’s extremely powerful because it’s a heart-to-heart energetic connection. Open hearts—two open systems having an energy exchange and experiencing oneness for even a moment—fleeting seconds. We start to realize that this separateness that we experience is an illusion and we find ourselves seeking open-hearted connection more often than not and in doing so, uniting with something greater than ourselves, consciously, more and more, and realizing this is something this is how it always has been and always should be. We just lacked awareness. We forgot how to do that. 

In those exchanges, the abilities that we have to create are immediate and powerful. There’s nothing frightening about it. We’ve been so fearful of being seen, of being felt, so afraid of judgement. We’ve closed ourselves up. Some of us. You can’t close up, but we don’t realize it. We don’t even know. We don’t even notice the connection that’s constant. It’s overwhelming to us because it’s alien and doesn’t fit our comprehension and so we convince ourselves we’re crazy or that there’s something wrong with us, that we feel “off” that we feel weird, but what we’re feeling is everything. We just don’t know it and it feels scary. It feels threatening because it’s big and it’s looming but it’s not scary. It is big. And it is ever-present, but it creates chaos. It’s creating utter chaos because everyone is so fearful and angry and that’s what we’re getting more of. And those people who are fearful and angry believe that anyone behaving differently is crazy. We sometimes believe it ourselves. But we’re not crazy, we’re just turning toward the monster and we’re staring at its face and we’re realizing that it’s not a monster. It doesn’t have to be anyways. It’s something that can be really beautiful and peaceful and positive. We just have to believe that is what we deserve and believe it is possible.

It doesn’t matter how you got here. You’re here now. 

The Nature of Purpose

If we’re in the flow, things are happening for us all the time, we get what we need, which some call manifestation. When we are surfing the present and trusting that everything is working in our favor, then it truly is. But it’s not like The Truman Show in the sense that there’s just one person who is the focus, it is that each individual person is the center because we all have our own present and our own perspective.

If we were all in the present together, then we would be much more assistive and accommodating of one another because we would recognize the opportunity in that connection as opposed to feeling threatened or getting angry or lashing out or whatever is happening now. When people are at odds with one another—they’re either living in the past or the future—focusing on past trauma, trying to prevent future trauma based on past trauma. They’re just not in the present, period. The key is being present and accepting that in that presence, everything is working in your favor. And more to that, you can call up knowledge, so it’s not just events or meeting people (those types of serendipities) but from the present moment, you can also access information that is a part of the universal consciousness, like a stream that you can just tap into. And I get drips and drabs from it, like the weather, or random things, my sister does as well, intuiting useless, but accurate bits of information. 

I can only channel truth unadulterated by me as a human being. If there’s something that comes to me as a topic that I personally have strong emotions about or opinions about and I can’t step aside and let the information come as a result of those biases then it just doesn’t. Then there’s nothing, it’s just blank, which actually makes a lot of sense because those feelings disrupt the flow. They have a specific dimensionality to them that disallows access to source. 

I’m becoming much better at releasing myself from the third dimension to explore as I’m finding that it’s safe. There is no danger. When I decide that it’s totally safe and I let go and take that leap, then it will accelerate and, in trusting myself, I will realize everything—my gifts and my purpose, the things that seem like I only have small clues about at this point. I don’t believe that it will be total enlightenment.

It’s getting easier and easier for me to return to the present and a daily meditation practice will definitely help me do that and accelerate it by improving my ability to return to the present. I need to decide what I’m going to do with these gifts and what I want because right now I’m expecting others to tell me what to do. I need to feel for what is right to do, which doesn’t even need to be immediate. I’m here for a reason, I’m going to keep exploring why.

The Nature of Judgement

Judgement reinforces a black and white notion of emotion. If you aren’t open to exploring your feelings and asking where they’re coming from and why you’re having them then you aren’t able to develop that compassion and that empathy that makes you a more evolved human being. You just get stuck in feeling threatened and feeling hateful and acting on that, and that’s why judgement is ultimately destructive, because it’s a slippery slope. Judgement is non-optimal. Judgement does force ignorant action, generally, which is antithetical to conscious and intentional action. It’s less of a judgement and more of a discernment which is healthier for humanity. 

The Nature of Success

The key to being wildly successful is listening to your inner voice and trusting it.

Right now, you don’t trust yourself. You let your head override your gut and you pay for it dearly. Listen to your heart—not like you’re trying to divine something from outside. This comes from inside. It’s provided for you. 

Your duality is your cosmic spirit in a body/physical form. Being able to align your chakras brings your body and soul in alignment so the two are more connected. It is possible to achieve a permanent connection, but it takes time as one gets closer and closer to complete unity with each experience/alignment. But still, when bad things happen to trigger patterned behavior, we slip further and further away from alignment. Some chakras will align to compensate for others. 

Karma is when you are so far out of alignment that you attract energy to you to push you back into alignment. Positive karma is when you are aligned and attract energy to maintain alignment. It’s a push/pull scenario. Being honest about what you want (facing it) and pulling it toward you is how you build good karma. Bad karma occurs when you rebel and push something away from you—you don’t learn anything…and it comes back with greater intensity.

The Nature of Dislike

Judgement reinforces a black and white notion of emotion. If you aren’t open to exploring your feelings and asking where they’re coming from and why you’re having them then you aren’t able to develop that compassion and that empathy that makes you a more evolved human being. You just get stuck in feeling threatened and feeling hateful and acting on that, and that’s why judgement is ultimately destructive, because it’s a slippery slope. Judgement is non-optimal. Judgement does force ignorant action, generally, which is antithetical to conscious and intentional action. It’s less of a judgement and more of a discernment which is healthier for humanity. 

The Nature of Change

Our concept of truth has to be elastic enough for us to be able to accept even just the hint of a different reality, or a different dimension to reality we aren’t experiencing. We have been so solidified in black-and-white thinking and other rigid patterns of thought that follow a survival mindset, like “Will this help me live? Yes” or “Will this kill me? No”.

The chaos happening on the planet right now is shaking our perceptions, and shaking us loose of the rigid commitment to there being a capital T truth (objective truth/objective reality). So here we are. In this strange place where we’re taking our first steps away from the comfort of certainty toward the unknown. 

A lot of small changes constitute a big change (evolution). We are dealing with change more rapidly on a small scale than we ever have before and it just flows upward. So the larger changes of the whole system are happening more rapidly, and we still struggle with change–accepting change, accepting our new realities. That’s what change is: reframing reality. Change is reframing reality. Because the effort of that reframe has creative power, it has creative energy. 

The Nature of Your Path

Your path is actually the connection you have to your intuition. The more closely you’re connected to your intuition. The more self-awareness you have and self-knowledge, the closer you are to your path. However, the strange misconception of this is that at any point you’re ever not on your path. You’re never not on your path, however, the closer you are to your intuition, the closer you are to traveling your path—it’s a dimensional difference. There is no right way or wrong way, what is is. There is only true to yourself and not. 

The Nature of Trust

If I am able to trust that each moment has inherent meaning, then I can let go and allow my experience to unfold, abandon expectation and allow for each moment to arrive pleasantly, surprisingly in a state of awe, wonderment, curiosity and engagement and total realization that I am not in the driver’s seat—that I never have been and my life to this point has consisted of a struggle to grab the wheel.